Day Thirty One & Beyond

I realize I'm awful at updating daily. And now that my first month is over, I think I'll condense some posts. 

The last few days I've done Core, Sweat, and Strength Intervals. Today I think I'll do Sculpt or Buns. I'm doing really well. I'm proud of myself every day. I figured out the other day that I can finally do a complex move and I was actually so excited I cried a little.

Diet is going fine. My FitBit really does help me stay motivated, as stupid as that sounds. As of this morning, I'm officially down TWENTY pounds! At the rate I'm going, I'll reach my first goal by Christmas. Which makes me so proud and happy I could explode. My second goal will be a few months after Christmas. My FitBit says end of April. We'll see what happens. 

I'm just so proud of myself for sticking to this. For not giving up. For proving to myself that I'm worth it! My thirties are gonna be AWESOME.

Day Thirty

Well. I was right about my daughter being sick. Nose is running and she's whiny and cuddly and is flat out refusing to nap. Sigh. 

Things looked promising for a minute and I completed 20 minutes of Drench before the husband and I couldn't take her screaming any longer. Not even halfway through, but at least I managed a small workout. I was dripping in sweat when I was done!

Hamstring update: PAIN. But working out wasn't causing any more additional pain, so I persevered.

I should repeat Drench tomorrow, but I'm not sure this little lady will sleep that long in the morning. Or if she'll even sleep through the night. Guess we'll have to wait and see.

I'm still stalled at this same weight. We walked our son to school twice this week (round trip is about three miles per trip), yard work, and working out every day while closely watching caloric intake has resulted in stalling. Again. 

Not giving up. Just whining. And maybe a little crying. 

Day Thirty

Buns, hun!

In addition to doing Buns, I mowed the whole yard and then spent an hour pulling weeds with Nick. Ohhhh my aching legs. 

Actually, I think I actually hurt my hamstring in my left leg. I went a little deep on a move and it's absolutely in pain now. That's frustrating because I'm supposed to be doing Drench tomorrow. I also haven't been sore in a while now, and let me just say that I haven't really missed it haha.

I'm also noticing that my daughter is acting like she doesn't feel good again. Hope she's just tired. =(

Day Twenty Nine

Strength Intervals. 

Not much to report, really. Made it through. I love how short it is because I don't feel like I need to pace myself.

Diet is steady as she goes. I'm apparently stalling at this same weight for several days now. Which is annoying but I refuse to give up. The temptation is there to have a cheat day. Especially given what week it is. But I'm trying to remain strong. 

Day Twenty Eight

Core! It's still my favorite, followed closely by Strength Intervals, believe it or not. 

Not much to really report. It's getting easier and easier to do the moves. I'm starting to unmodify more and more of the moves. It's not as hard as I thought. 

I'm noticing my relationship to food is starting to change. I'm viewing it purely as fuel now, rather than...I don't know...love? I'm not seeking it out when I'm stressing (I still WANT it, but I'm not indulging) or sad or angry. My self control is better. I'm getting increasingly proud of myself. 

I really am changing my life. And it feels really good!

Day Twenty Seven

Finished Sweat with almost ease. I realized halfway through it was pretty easy, so I increased my intensity. Further stretches, deeper lunges, wider squats.

It worked! I'm feeling it now! This cold has me barely able to breathe, though, and now I'm extra feeling the aches and pains from the cold.

Husband has been PiYo-ing with me lately and he also did Sweat today. He has some work to do, but he did so well. Super proud of us.

**It's a slow process, but quitting will make it even slower!**

Day Twenty Six

Sooooo sick. Stupid cold.

In between fighting my fever, battling chills, and taking care of my dad's two dogs all day, I did Sculpt for the first time. I did everything except the backward tricep pushup on the chair. I'm not really sure what it's called. But I attempted one and decided NOPE. I'll try when I'm not sick. Even then, I'm not sure I can do them! I don't trust my chair!

I'm proud for still doing this stuff while sick. I may not be pushing myself quite as hard as I usually do, but I'm still working it! And I'm still moving. My diet is still on track too. 950 calories today. Which isn't a lot, but I'm sick and have no appetite. I had to force myself to eat dinner. 

In lady news, I'm approaching an unpleasant week and I already don't feel fabulous cramp wise. Hoping the movements will help ease the pain a little. And I'm hoping my cold is gone before it starts. Harumph. 

Day Twenty Five

Well, definitely sick. And it sucks. 

Today was supposed to be a rest day but I've taken so many of those, so I decided to at least attempt a workout. I attempted Strength Intervals and not only did I finish, I rocked it!

Now, granted I had a fever and was dripping snot onto my mat (I still use a mat for S.I. because my rug is slick), but it really was easier this time around! I don't think my fever was making me delirious or hallucinate, so I'm calling this a win!

My diet is on track, though with my body sending signals to my brain to hoard calories to fight off the cold and my impending period making me crave anything sweet, this isn't an easy task. I want to eat all the things! But I'm still sitting comfortably at 1350 calories for the day. 

Day Twenty Four

I'm alive. But barely.

Drench kicked my ass. Sideways. 

It didn't help that I attempted this workout after getting Deacon ready for school, running errands all morning, and doing chores. I was tired when I started!

But what was really hindering me was I was so off balance. I spent all morning dropping everything I touched and then trying to do this workout had me falling over and unable to even lunch. I couldn't even maintain rhythm.

Awful.

Pitiful.

I cried. Twice. I just couldn't get this workout to work for me. I mowed the lawn to make up some more calorie burnage. Hoping next week is better. I'm confident!

9pm update:

I'm chanting, "I'm not getting sick" over and over. Face is full of pressure, I'm achy, nose is draining in the back of my throat, head hurts, ears hurt. My son was sick for about four days and despite taking every measure to not get sick, his nasty crud may have infiltrated my defenses. Uuuuuggghhh.

Day Twenty Three

Feeling pretty decent today. I'm not feeling too much soreness. Now I know I'll survive next time. But now, I'm excited to get Buns over with!

After workout:

It wasn't terrible. But my legs were shaking after those Burpees and squats! Those clock movement things are killer! My poor thighs! After being assaulted with Strength Intervals, Sweat, and now Buns, I'm certain my legs are going to figure out a way to run away.

OMG. I HAVE DRENCH TOMORROW. I'M A LITTLE CONCERNED ABOUT DYING. Someone avenge me!

Day Twenty Two

CORE DAY!

My favorite! But boy, I'm STILL feeling the workout from Strength Intervals. Poses I can do normally I had to break and go back into after a pause. Which bums me out, but I'm proud I didn't stop (I REALLY wanted to!)

On another note, I was feeling pretty good today so I grabbed the tape measure just to see if, after three long weeks, any progress has been made. 

I'VE LOST 14.8 POUNDS AND TWELVE INCHES OVERALL! Five inches came off my stomach alone! I was really surprised. But I was mostly PROUD. 

Here's to tomorrow! It's Buns Day.... And that makes me nervous! Burpees are awful.

Day Twenty One

Back to Sweat. It was much easier to get through this time, more so than even last time. My daughter woke up when I had 11 minutes to go, so I had to finish it a little later. 

My legs are still feeling the abuse from yesterday but I survived. I really am seeing improvement in myself. It's so exciting! I think that's the best part of PiYo - I want to see what I can do now! I'm holding poses for longer, I need the chair a little less, I need less breaks, just to name a few!

And tomorrow is Core - my favorite!

Day Twenty

Strength Intervals are no joke. I wrote a haiku:

Chalene is so mean
Oh crap my legs are jello
I think I might fall.

In all honesty, I am just proud I made it through the whole thing. 21 minutes but I was sweating by minute four and tired by minute seven. 

My strength is getting so much better though. That workout would have killed me three weeks ago! I wouldn't have been able to finish it! I'm learning to be proud of myself. And that is HUGE for me. Personal emotional accomplishments are good too and I feel amazing!

Day Eighteen & Day Nineteen

Forgot to write yesterday. Probably because I was in bed by 9:40.

So Day Eighteen - planned on doing Lower and Upper body. But with family stresses, I only managed to get Lower completed. Which was okay. Personal victory for me because I had planned on just giving up. And I was able to get through it with relative ease. Score!

Day Nineteen - I sat down with the calendar I was given versus what I have done. I've pretty much done everything as needed, in fact I've done more in two categories.  

                   Her calendar  l  My Calendar
Lower -         4                             5
Upper -         4                             4
Sweat -         3                             4
Core -            3                             3

But I did notice I was supposed to do Buns two days ago. Whoops. So today, while it's supposed to be a rest day, I did Buns. I've rested enough!

MY LEGS ARE ON FIRE. 

What a workout. My legs are jello! Holy cow. But I made it through it with little need to stop. So yay. I'm proud of me. I'm getting there. 

Day Seventeen

Man I love Core. So far, is my absolute favorite. Is targeting where I need it most, which is nice, but also because I can do all the moves! 

Twas a good sweaty workout. I feel really good. I feel confident. I'm still having some issues emotionally but I'm determined to work through them. Today was a good day. So I'm heading to bed knowing that today, just today, was good. And I'm keeping positive thoughts that tomorrow will be good, too.

Day Sixteen

Arm and shoulder are still in pain, but it's much better. I can rotate my arm all the way around with minimal pain and I did a PiYo pushup without too much pain. So steady as she goes!

I was able to do all of Lower and 3/4 of Upper before my family needed me. I call that a successful workout. Good and sweaty and I was able to finish Lower without needing to stop once. It's exciting to see myself get better. 

My weight is still up. It's really bothering me but I refuse to give up. I'm hoping it's just water weight or something silly. Tomorrow I'm doing Core. I'm actually looking forward to it!

Day Fifteen

Woke up with terrible arm and shoulder pain. It's obvious I slept on it wrong. I can't fully rotate my arm at all and carrying things is painful. I attempted to do a plank and a PiYo pushup but couldn't support myself without extreme pain.

Guess I'm taking the rest day early this week. Grumble. Hoping it feels better in the morning.

Day Fourteen

Two weeks in! Exciting! It hasn't been easy. And I'm still having a hard time emotionally. And dang if my hands and palms don't still hurt like hell.

Tonight brought Sweat. Again, I'm not following her calendar. Which is probably very bad of me to do. I'll try to follow it better. I'm just tired of Upper and Lower and find Core and Sweat more fun.

It was going well. I was able to do a move I couldn't last time! I was so excited! But then real life smacked me in the face.

I didn't finish the last five minutes. Our eight year old was not listening, baby was moaning her horribly annoying moan, I accidentally kicked the dog four times in about thirty seconds, I had the cat rubbing on me and laying on my chair I needed for stability. Ahhhhhh!!!! Christ! Isn't yoga supposed to be relaxing? Because I am NOT. 

If anyone is reading this, and you're considering PiYo, make sure you don't have a family. Or if you do, make sure they are out of the house when you do this. And lock up your pets for half an hour. Trust me, you'll thank me later. 

My weight is still up. I don't get it. Why am I working so hard to just gain weight? I get why some people gain weight after working out but Jesus. It's not fair.

Day Thirteen

Today was a better day.

Woke up swollen from crying so much, but I felt better. Continued to count calories and move more. 

I finished Core quickly and easily. My palms and hands are pretty sore but I suppose that's to be expected. I also mowed the lawn. Haven't sweat THAT much in a while. So gross. But I feel good.

I guess I will just chalk yesterday up to a bad day and forget about it. It happened. I can't dwell on my mistakes forever anymore. So here's to a bright happy tomorrow!

Day Twelve

Today was not my best day. In fact, it was such a rotten day that I seriously wanted to quit the diet and exercise regime and just stay fat forever.

I peaked last week at 12.4 pounds lost my first month. It felt fucking great. Since then, though, I kept gaining several ounces a day. Finally today, it was a full five pounds more. WHAT?! I'm eating reduced calories and contorting my body in positions it never thought possible to GAIN weight? Oh hell no!

But I turned Lower Body on and decided to just deal with it. Fit bodies and weight loss take time, right? But within the first five minutes, the dog was ramming into me, baby was crying, and my palms & hands ached with pain. It was just too much for me. I turned the DVD off and cried. 

Admittedly, I should have put big girl panties and just continued on. But this sucks. I'm working really hard. I'm not cheating on my diet (though I really want to!). I'm trying to not be weak minded. But I am apparently. This may seem like a tiny setback for most people but for me, five pounds is a big deal. I went from only needing 72 pounds to lose back up to 77. I already have a distorted self image and body issues to begin with and having a setback like this hurts. It also kills motivation. Motivation that took me a while to get going to get ready to transform my body; my mind; my life.

It probably doesn't help that my gorgeous husband continues to lose weight while eating five times more than I am and is barely exercising right now. I know, men lose differently than women blah blah. Especially since I've had kids and blah blah. But it's hard to remain motivated while the weight is basically falling off of your spouse while you're struggling.

Here's hoping for a better tomorrow. 

Day Eleven

It was a busy day today. My intention was to do Lower and Upper Body. But between fussy baby girl and meetings at the school and then back to school shopping, I was left with little time. So I did Sweat. Aren't I great at following the calendar she gave me?

I'm noticing I'm not nearly as sore and my muscles are definitely more flexible. I'm able to go longer and longer between having to stop and grab water/lay down and try to not die. Endurance baby!

I lost 12 pounds quickly and I've been stagnant since. It's been about a week now and I feel like crying. It's so frustrating to curb your caloric intake and leave the dinner table unsatisfied sometimes and continue to say no to anything sweet/unhealthy only to see that you have GAINED A POUND AND A HALF.

I'm keeping my spirits up though. I'm doing this more to look good naked and to feel better overall, not the number on the scale. Or at least that's what my husband keeps telling me when I want to cry.

Day Nine & Ten

Blogging every day is proving hard for this tired momma. How do some parents do this?!

Day Nine brought a new exercise: Core. And it's my favorite thus far, hands down. Lots of work that targets my trouble area: my stomach. I couldn't figure out some of the moves the first time and had to stop a couple of times just to figure them out, so I went ahead and did Core a second time. And boy, was I tired by the end of it. It was great!

Day Ten brought us an hour out of town visiting my grandparents. We left early morning and got home late evening. I had every intention of doing Upper and Lower Body. But it didn't work out like that. 

And honestly, I'm okay with having another rest day. My hands and palms are SORE! Ouch! They're getting stronger, but until I can learn to transfer some of the weight in these positions, I suppose I just need to learn to deal with it. 

Day Eleven will have me doing Upper and Lower Body, but I won't protest if it ends up being just one of those and a good walk with the dog.

Day Seven & Day Eight

Once again I failed to write yesterday. And it was because I was exhausted. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally.

The workout (Lower) itself was okay. I didn't push myself further, though, so I let myself down in that respect. It was an afternoon workout and I had so many interruptions. Eight year old interrupted. Dog was barking and in the way. Cat attempted cuddles while in downward dog position. After twenty minutes I wanted to give up. I sat down and cried. My husband helped motivate me to continue though. I finished the workout. But I was disappointed in myself.

Now, I haven't really been following the calendar of workouts she gave. I've been doing two a day, have done Sweat three times already, and haven't taken a rest day yet. Which was probably not very smart given that I'm not sleeping well at night right now. I'm pretty worn out. Starting an exercise regime and cutting calories and having insomnia while juggling a family is a recipe for burnout.

So today, Day Eight, I took a rest day. It worked out beautifully since not only did I only sleep an hour last night, but my gorgeous little girl failed to nap save forty minutes during the day. I have a headache from hell to boot. 'Worn out' doesn't even begin to describe me right now. 

Really relieved that my husband is home tomorrow. Hoping that with his help, I can get back on track. While I needed the rest, I'm feeling guilty and am extremely anxious I gained a couple pounds back. 

Day Six

Managed to do both Lower and Upper Body today, both with very limited pausing. I didn't flat out stop at all! And towards the end of Upper, rather than sinking into child's pose, I did a different part of the workout. Progress!

My form is also better. I have my husband watch me and be my mirror so he's constantly telling me, "Push that foot back!" and "Straighten up your chest!". Today he had to tell me very little and was repeatedly telling me how much better I was doing. 

My legs were definitely sore from yesterday's Sweat. But I'm alright. It isn't horrible. It really does feel good! I actually feel more limber.

Now if I could only sleep better, life would be grand. Insomnia is trying to kill me, I'm sure of it.

Day Four & Five

I failed to write yesterday. And it wasn't because I was dragged out exhausted; it was because I wasn't sure what to say. I was having a rough day emotionally. 

But yesterday, Day Four, I did Lower Body and Upper Body. In fact, I was feeling so good that I did half of Upper Body a second time. I would have completed it, but my family needed me. Point is, I am already stronger. 

Today, Day Five, had me doing Sweat. And let me take the time to point out that it truly lives up to the name. I was drenched in sweat. My legs were on fire! Post workout, I can already feel the soreness. Admittedly, I had to stop a lot and had to break position early a few times. But I'm not discouraged. I'm actually really proud thus far. 

Time for a masochistic moment. I'm really enjoying the soreness. It's sort of like a constant punishment for every late night snack and it's reminding me to never let my body get like this again. Every time I lift my daughter and my triceps ache or when I'm standing doing dishes and my legs feel wobbly I am reminded that I'm heavy, fat, and out of shape. And I get to smile through the pain because I'm changing that. I'm being proactive. I'm getting fit. 

And I'll never again see these numbers on the scale.

Day Three

Upon wake up: I'm feeling oddly satisfied. I'm sore, but it feels really good. And it's not excruciating either. This is manageable soreness. 

I'm excited to start Lower Body! I viewed the routine last night and I am fairly confident I can get through it.

After workout: 

Feeling good. Chalene kicked my butt and yet I feel pretty good. These workouts have me sweating more in twenty minutes than doing 45 minutes on the exercise bike. We have errands to run and I feel like I can get them completed without whining. 

Stupid thought at 4pm: Let's do Upper Body too!

In all honesty, Lower Body kicked my butt far more, but Upper felt great. I'm glad I did the second workout. 

I think.

Day Two

Upon wake up: I can walk! Body is not broken! I'm sore, but it feels good. Planning on doing Align twice today. Let's see if it ends up happening. I want to master these basic moves before moving on to the actual workouts, but I want to start ASAP.

Finished first Align workout by 9am. Husband already noticed improvement in my moves. I did too. I was able to flow easier between the moves. I am now super sore but rather than feeling depleted and exhausted, I feel like I have more energy. Thank goodness because my kids are active today.

Realization at 5:30pm: Apparently I do have ab muscles. And they hurt.

Managed to get the second workout done! My form was so much better! Didn't need to rest hardly at all. I'm feeling very confident to start tomorrow morning. 

If I can walk, at least.

Day One

Fairly certain I just broke my body. That was insane! Holy sweat!! I had no idea how intense that was going to be. Low impact, sure, but OHMYGOD CHALENE KNOWS HOW TO MAKE YOU SWEAT. I'm wobbly. I'm already sore. 

But it was fun. I actually had fun doing this workout. My husband did it too. He was also pleasantly surprised by the intensity.

I'm pretty sure I won't find tomorrow as fun, but I'm looking forward to doing this again. I have a feeling we'll be doing just the fundamentals for a few days. Really want to focus on perfecting the alignments and getting the most out of the yoga and pilates as we can. 

I need sleep.

An Intro

I'm not sure I'll ever be brave enough to post my actual stats and numbers, but let's just say that I'm in extreme need of weight loss and healthier habits. My final lofty goal is a weight loss of 80 pounds. It sounds daunting as hell. And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared.

I've had two kids. My son is 8 and my daughter is 7 months. My body shows that it has had children. It sags and is poofy where you want no poof. 

My diet isn't really terrible, but portion control is something I need to focus on. I also need to drink more water. 

I'm doing PiYo for myself mostly, but it's also for my kids. Healthy examples and all that crap. We're big hikers and we love running/walking our dog, but I worry it isn't enough. 

I sometimes wonder how I let myself get this large. After my daughter was born, I was in a pretty good spot. I weighed thirty pounds less and had a great attitude. But we all got sick - worst cold of my life. Then I got even sicker when I contacted Pertussis. Add in a little postpartum depression and it was a terrible recipe. I gained thirty pounds with all the antibiotics and being too sick to move. My airways were tight and my lungs ached terribly. I barely left my couch. And what happens when you've had two kids and don't exercise? Fat. Fat happens.

I'm 30 next year. I think that has something to do with me wanting to change. I spent my teen years struggling with an eating disorder. I spent my twenties being overweight. So I want my thirties to be healthy. Lean. Fit. And sexy, dammit. 

I have a wonderful husband. Right before I met him six years ago he lost an impressive 94 pounds in a few months. No surgery, just extreme lifestyle change. He has gained 25 of it back so he's doing this with me. I'm heavier than my husband is, and it's awkward for me. Not for him - he doesn't care how I look. But he does want me to stop hating myself. So I thank him for supporting me in this. He's my rock. He and my kids are my everything. 

Alright. Let's pop this DVD in and start the fundamentals.